Doldrums and Drudgery

Hello faithful reader~

First of all, my apologies for being an unfaithful writer! It's hard to believe that over a month has gone by since my last post, and I am sure you are all waiting with bated breath for what I have to say next. Truth be told, my self-deprecating self doesn't think there is much worth saying. But then I had another thought: maybe, just maybe my friends and family will be interested in what I've been up to in spite of the fact that it only involves teaching, teaching, and more teaching. (Oh, and did I mention the teaching?!)

English grammar: it makes "perfect" sense!

While a normal school year in the United States is punctuated by several holidays and a generous summer break, I have been teaching for seven months and have two yet to go before Graduation Day.  My students and I are together in a small classroom for 20 hours a week, and I have come to know their idiosyncrasies (both lovable and odious) quite well. For example, there is the young woman who sits in the back and never finishes her homework yet manages to have a new, elaborate hairstyle every day. There is the pair in my morning class who refuse to admit that they are crushing on each other. There is the gentleman who, instead of merely saying "here" when I take attendance, says "present continuous", "present perfect" or (and I'm sure you all knew this verb tense existed) "present perfect continuous".

No matter what I do, some students understand and some don't.

There are the serial litterers, the sleepers, and the ones hopped up on caffeine. There are those who still have trouble with their a-e-i-o-us and those who can engage me in witty repartee. (For the record, I do know all of my students' real names. And ranks. And serial numbers.)

CONTRADICTIONS!

Teaching, for me, is a series of contradictions. The students' energy is both enlivening and exhausting. Adjusting my pedagogy on the fly to fit the "vibe" and address the strengths and weaknesses of each class is a source of pride, while planning lessons and grading are mundane, lonely tasks. Classes are four hours long but I still feel as if the program is sacrificing depth for breadth of knowledge. I vacillate between wanting more frequent contact (and assistance) from my supervisor and reveling in the freedom of my position. The air of authority I try to project in the classroom can be easily deflated by a well-aimed grammar question. I am poor in the pocketbook (earning less than $5 per classroom hour) but prosperous in linguistic knowledge. I am surrounded by warm and friendly people, yet stand alone.

At least this hasn't happened to me...yet.

This last point has probably been the hardest part of my Dominican journey. Since most of my students are around my age, I have found it difficult to toe the line between being friendly and being respectable. The great thinker Machiavelli once said that "it is better to be feared than to be loved." He was talking about princes and politics, but I wonder if his maxim might apply to teaching. Lately with my lassitude I have erred on the side of friendliness, which leads to disciplinary problems later as students think that "anything goes." If anyone knows the alchemy that makes it possible to be both feared AND loved as a teacher, please let me in on the secret!

I guess I'll begin and end this post with an apology. Sorry, dear reader, if I have bored you with my ramblings. Perhaps I've managed to be funny. Either way, here concludes the prolix musings of a rookie teacher.

Saludos until next time. Les suelto (I'm letting you go...)

~Kirsten